Tag Archive for 'destructive conflict'

Workplace War is Stressful

It is said that a large percentage of heart attacks happen on Monday mornings.  I wouldn’t be surprised. In my many years of coaching and consulting in organizations, I often hear people speak of their work experience as if they are in a war-zone.

A war-like mentality causes people to struggle against those they should be cooperating with. Everyone becomes “the enemy.”  For example, some salespeople think of customers as people they “target.”  They can get angry at these “targets” when they don’t buy and “waste” the salesperson’s time.  Does anyone in your workplace feel as if they are “under siege?” Do you make decisions in terms of “which battles to fight?”   How do you feel on Monday mornings?

Recycle Destructive Old Gossip Behavior

Human beings are essentially storytellers. And one of our favorite story subjects to tell and hear about is other people. This is called gossip. Gossip is used as informal orientation—to teach people “what is and is not acceptable around here.”

It also serves to test our own behavior against the behavior of others and the people whose opinions matter to us. However, as you know, gossip can quickly get out of hand and become very destructive in the workplace.

Trying to get people to stop gossiping is not likely to be effective any. Besides, social and neuroscience evidence confirms that gossip is inherently a part of being human. It is a vital part of who we are.  However, you can build upon this timeless human past-time and capitalize on the skills that we have built up.  In other words, recycle the skill and the human habit.

One way to recycle destructive gossip is to use the “grapevine” as a communication channel and change the content to constructive or “good” gossip.

Think about someone at work that you could appreciate a bit more than you do now. Imagine how spreading good gossip about the person could improve your work relationship with them. Start to notice what you genuinely appreciate about them.

Share what you appreciate about the person with someone who is likely to pass it on. Choose something that if the person being gossiped about were to hear it, it would make their day.  

Have you initiated or experienced anyone spreading positive gossip?  Please let me and other readers hear about it.